


Five Times Captain Jack Harkness Became a Parent, and One Time he Didn’t

by qaffangyrl



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Captain Jack Harkness is a horn dog, F/M, M/M, Multi, Omnisexual, Other, angst like woah, anything with a postcode, canon based mpreg, even when Captain Jack is being an asshole can still charm the pants off of any living thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 20:32:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qaffangyrl/pseuds/qaffangyrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*points to title* In keeping with tradional Torchwood tone, I tried to combine both angst and humor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Captain Jack Harkness Became a Parent, and One Time he Didn’t

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to draw from canon as accurately as possible and I paired Jack with canon characters from Doctor Who and Torchwood 
> 
> Originally posted on LJ in July 2009

1) He wasn’t called Jack back then. And he wasn’t even a man yet. At barely fifteen years old he stood in a sand garden before his best friend’s mother; the first woman who’d invited him into her bed. 

“I’ll go to the recruiting office tomorrow and tell the Time Agency I can’t join up after all.” He thought for a moment about what in the world he could possibly say to convince them he had to stay behind. When the obvious came to him he lifted his head. Then, with an air of forced maturity he announced, “Family commitments.” 

“You’ll do no such thing. This entire village is looking to you to make us proud. You’ll leave in the morning just like you’ve planned.” 

“But-”

“No buts. The only reason I decided to tell you at all is because I need you to do something for me.” 

A quick rush of relief washed over him, followed by a stinging sense of guilt . “I’ll do whatever I can.” 

She took a step closer to him and her intoxicating scent surrounded his adolescent body. “Take Zon with you. Use that charm of yours to convince the recruiter to let him sign up too.” 

This was a profoundly bad idea. Zon was a beautifully lithe boy. He was sensitive and artistic and by no means did he have the makings of a soldier. Jack knew it. He knew everything about Zon. When they weren’t at school together they were down on the sand dunes or climbing up the hydration towers. Jack couldn’t get enough of exploring the peninsula and Zon couldn’t get enough of Jack. 

“I don’t think-” 

“Tell him it’ll be an adventure.” She insisted, “Besides, we both know that given the chance, Zon would follow you to the end of the Universe. He loves you. That’s why he can never know what you and I have done.” 

“What about the baby?” 

“We’ll be fine. You just take care of his big brother.” 

Months later, Zon became the first lover Jack watched die. He wouldn’t be the last. 

Jack never met his first born son. 

 

2) “You… and that bookish little fashion tragedy over there were an item? Where’s your standards man?” The time agent scoffed. His frame was smaller than Jack’s but they were equally measured in wit and wiliness. They both had more than a fondness for drink, drugs, and of course sex. And while Jack was the Agency’s go-to guy when it came to torture, his partner was known as the most ruthlessly efficient assassin in the three galaxies. They’d both just been promoted to the rank of Captain. It was a moniker they’d each keep with them long after the Agency itself was gone. 

Jack cocked his head to the side, “Sure, she could use a makeover, but when we were together, I don’t seem to remember her wearing much of anything. Besides, she happens to be the cleverest human I’ve ever met. And she could give your sick mind a run for its money. Trust me. It’s the quiet ones that’ll blow your mind every time. ” 

“Fine. Whatever. What are we doing here?” 

“I told you. She’s an expert. If anyone can help us find it, it’s her. She literally wrote the book on the place.” 

“Yeah well, get on with it then this blue-blooded Uni is giving me hives.”

“Just, wait here. And please try not to murder anyone while I’m gone.” Jack only half-teased. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“Yes ,dear.” Jack’s partner replied in a mockishly, high pitched tone.  
She’d been sitting in the Quad grading term-papers when he walked up to her, “DeeDee Blasco. Might I say you’re looking as lovely as ever.”

She waited a beat before she peered up at him through her smudged glasses, “Lieutenant. What sort of information are you going to romance out of me this time?” 

She’d always had the ability throw him a bit off his game, but he recovered quickly and replied, “It’s Captain now actually. And I’m here on official business for the Time Agency.”

“Ah well, Captain,” she replied pointedly, “Then I should tell you that it’s Professor Blasco now. I’ve just secured my tenure. I’m the youngest full faculty member on campus.”

“Congratulations to you, Professor. I always used to say you had a dazzling intellect.”

“You used to a lot of things. Captain.” 

For the slightest moment the Captain’s smile dropped. “It was a long time ago.” 

“Almost nine years.” 

“Yeah.” Jack replied in a whisper.

“Yeah.” DeeDee answered back, “So, what’s this official business?” 

“I need your maps. The maps.” 

DeeDee got up from the picnic table and brushed her hands down over her worn corduroy skirt. “You’re not seriously going in search of The Lost Moon of Poosh.” 

“It’s my mission.” Jack shrugged. 

“Your mission. And what percentage of the millions in reward money will you get for accomplishing your mission?” 

“My fair share.” He replied in a defensive tone. 

“Fine. I assume you have enough storage space on your wrist strap?” When Jack nodded, she keyed a few quick strokes into her hand held data archive and transferred all of the coordinates, galactic holographs and theoretical sign posts she’d collected in the years since she published her first paper on the missing heavenly body. 

“Thanks. You always come through for me DeeDee Blasco.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek and just as he was about to turn and leave she replied, “She turns eight next month, in case you’d forgotten.” 

“I haven’t forgotten.” His voice was suddenly cold, absent of emotion.

“Do you even care that she has your smile? Or that she can light up room the minute she walks into it just like you can?” 

“Your husband is the only father she’s ever known. I’d just make things…complicated.” 

“Complicated for whom? We’re not the ones who can’t stay on the same planet for more than three lunar cycles in a row.” 

“And I’m not the one who married someone else.” Jack countered. 

“You left without a word. How was I supposed to know whether you were ever coming back? I had to do what was best for our child.” 

“Well then, you made the right decision.” 

 

3) “That’s impossible!”Jack yelled. His face had gone ghostly white as he stared at the incomprehensible image on the physician’s monitor. 

“No Captain, that’s a fetus. And by the looks of it I’d say you’re about four months gone.”

“Four months?” The Captain tried to measure his past four months linearly, but terrestrial calendars were pointless when it came to time travel. So rather than think in terms of days or weeks, he counted his lovers backward until he came to someone who could have possibly put him in such a state. He remembered the multi-form’s deliciously exotic face before he remembered her name. “Four months back,”Jack told the physician, “I was visiting the Mutter’s Spiral. “ His voice was thick with dread. 

“Ah.” The physician said knowingly. “That means you’re going to give birth to a member of the nobility.” He was clearly impressed.

“I’m gonna give birth to a tree!” Jack shrieked,” When Jabe asked me if I wanted to see with she could do with her branches I had no idea! Doc? How does, I mean, where does the uh, sapling come out, exactly?”

“I’ve never delivered a descendent of the Forest of Cheem before. They have their own means of well, I believe they call it, harvesting. And, of course, we’ll have to notify the Brothers of Hame being that your child is going to be a member of the Royal Court.” 

“Royal Court?” Jack asked. He’d heard how lucrative the surrogate business could be. Maybe this pregnancy would be worth the while after all. Still, he promised himself that from now on when visiting worlds with laws against population control he’d try to stick to enjoying the company of life forms who were, seventy-five percent male at the very minimum. It wasn’t a fool proof method of birth control. But, as he thought about the root system that was twining around his large intestine he reckoned it was the wisest possible precaution. 

 

4) Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood Uncontracted Operative, banged his fist down on the Cardiff Hub leader’s desk. “I’m marrying her and there’s nothing you lot can do about it!”

Gerald Carter set his fountain pen down on his ink blotter and crossed his arms firmly over his chest. “You and I both know there’s nothing further from the truth than that statement.”

“Look, I’ve done everything you people have told me to do for last quarter century. And after that debacle with the carnival I’d like to think you’d be willing to cut me some slack for once.” 

“I must say, Captain, your attitude is a bit surprising. Marriage? Monogamy? You really think you’re suited for such things?” When Gerald saw the look on Jack’s face he knew his words had had the desired effect. 

“I have to try…I owe that to her, Gerald. She’s a good girl and it’ll be another eighty, ninety years before someone in her condition could-” 

“Oh, it’s all becoming clear now. You’ve gotten her in trouble? Is that it?” 

Jack hung his head. 1920’s Britain was no place for a single mother. “I thought we were being careful. Really, I did.” 

“There are other options, with our technology, the risks are virtually nonexistent.” 

Jack shook his head. “No. I couldn’t ask her to do that.” 

“Religious, is she?” Gerald asked. He’d always been somewhat baffled by people of faith. Still, they interested him.

Jack didn’t answer the question. But in a whisper he said, “I think I might actually uh, have feelings for her. After all I’ve done for Torchwood. Please. Let me have this.” 

“If I agree, you realize it won’t change the terms of your agreement with the Institute. You’re either with us, or you’re against us.” 

“Yeah,” Jack had to keep from scoffing, “I got that one drilled into me decades ago.”

Six months later, Jack Harkness handed his new born son over to the nuns as the exhausted, bloodied midwife shrouded his dead wife’s body with funeral linens. 

“What’s the boy’s name?” Sister Mary Francis asked. 

Jack bent over, kissed the infant on the forehead and then told the nun, “You decide. I’m late for work.” 

 

5) Lucia Morretti was the first person Jack had met in nearly a century who he’d fancied as much as, well, almost as much as, The Doctor. When it came to her personal life she was hot tempered and headstrong. Her penchant for hedonism was such that it made Jack feel like he was back in the 51st Century. She lived life completely, never taking a single second for granted. It was her abilities in the field, though, that most impressed Jack. Her devil-may-care approach to mission tactics, and flawless infiltration and retrieval methods were stuff of legend at the Torchwood Institute.

It came as no surprise to her comrades at Canary Wharf that she’d taken up with equally legendary phantom of the tiny Cardiff Base. The shock came when she abruptly tendered her resignation. 

When she broke the news to Jack he took her hand and said, “What do you say we try and make a go of it. Do the family thing. It could be, I don’t know, fun.” 

“What Jack? You want me in an apron, greeting you at the door with a martini in hand as you come home from work in the evenings? She laughed at the ludicrous notion.

“The apron sounds good. As long as you’re not wearing anything else.” He flashed a rakish grin. And he actually allowed himself to believe that playing house with the gorgeous creature could be a possibility. 

She didn’t return the smile. “You won’t think that in another twenty, thirty years.” 

“I don’t know about that, my tastes have always been rather flexible, dontcha think?” He was trying to keep the conversation light. “And I’ve heard Italian women age like fine wines.” 

She shook her head and bit back a grin, “It’s those sweet-nothings of yours that got us into this situation, in the first place.” 

Jack stepped forward and closed the space between them. All of what he was suggesting was against his better judgment, but he was over a hundred years old now and he reckoned that maybe it was time to settle down, at least for a while. He snaked his arm around the small of Lucia’s back and in a low voice said, “We’ve protected the Earth together, could raising a kid together be in harder?” 

Hardly anyone in their circle of friends was actually getting married in those days. It was the 1970’s and free love was the norm among the British young and hip. But over the years, Jack had managed to squirrel away quite the nest egg. So, he bought a handsome flat not far from the Penarth Marina on the advice that the property values were certain to enjoy a meteoric rise during the following decade. And the first two years with Lucia and their daughter were good. Too good. 

Ironically, they left him on Valentine’s Day, 1977. “You bastard! Did you think I wouldn’t find out? She’s our daughter for Chrissake!” 

Jack set down the box of chocolates he’d brought home for Lucia and tried to explain, “They didn’t hurt her. I was there the whole time. They didn’t even draw blood, they just performed noninvasive scans.”

“And if they’d found something. Some fountain-of-youth in her biological make-up that she might’ve inherited from you, you honestly think we would have ever seen her again? Whatever happened to you, it didn’t happen on this planet. And you know what Torchwood says, ‘if it’s alien, it’s ours.’ ” Tears of rage streamed down Lucia’s face. 

Her anger only made Jack more stoic, “They were gonna do the experiments, regardless. This way, I was able to make sure she wasn’t scared, that no harm came to her.” 

“You harmed her, Jack. And I’m going to make certain that you’re never able to do it again!” 

Of course, ‘deep-cover’ couldn’t keep Captain Jack Harkness from tracking them down. But by the time he saw his daughter again, she had a new name, and her mother had already warned her of the dangerous man who never got older. 

 

1)Ianto stepped through the cog wheel door and immediately grimaced. He’d been up till nearly dawn planting new memories into Gwen’s weddings guests before hauling them to their hotel rooms and tucking them into bed. Jack had told the team not to come in till noon, but Ianto was always earlier than expected. He arrived to find confetti strewn about the Hub floor. 

“Bringing the party back with you Jack?” Ianto asked as he dumped the scraps of tissue paper on his boss’s desk, “Is that it?” 

Jack looked up from his paper work and shrugged, “Just thought the place could use a little whimsy.” 

“Whimsy that I’m responsible for putting in the bin.” Ianto admonished.

“Hey, we all have our jobs to do,” Jack teased. 

Ianto rolled his eyes, “I should put rat poison in your coffee for that comment.” 

“You love coffee too much to do such a horrid thing to it.” Jack countered with a twinkle in his eye. 

“Yes, well we all have our limits I suppose.” Ianto conceded before heading upstairs to put a fresh pot on and open a new tin of biscuits. 

Later, after two cups of coffee, and a quick, but utterly satisfying, tumble down in Jack’s quarters Ianto sat down with Jack to help him record the previous day’s events in the Log. “Seeing Gwen all round and glowing was a sight to behold.” Jack admitted, “Wonder if she’ll ever try the mom thing for real.” 

“Rhys mentioned to me when we were setting up the turn table that he was hoping to start a family right quick, I reckon I’ll need to familiarize myself with Torchwood’s maternity leave and child care policies.” 

Jack didn’t want to comment on that possibility so in an effort to steer the conversation away from Gwen he said, “You know, there was a time, about sixty years back, when the Hub was full of kids.” 

“No, really?” 

“During the blitz. They used the sublevels as a holding station during the evacuation. I was abroad at the time, but I kinda wish I’d been here for it.” Jack wistfully replied.

Ianto turned away from the keyboard and asked, “Jack? Have you ever, I mean, with as long as you’ve been alive, have you ever had any children?” 

Jack picked up a manila folder and started thumbing through it, without looking Ianto in the eye he said, “Mixing this line of work with family life is a bad idea for most people.” 

“Yeah,” Ianto agreed in a whisper, “That was one of the few things Lisa and I ever argued about.” 

“She wanted kids?” Jack gently asked, Ianto, rarely spoke of Lisa, but Jack knew she still had a big piece of his heart. 

Ianto shook his head, “No. I did. But, she said the same thing as you, kids and Torchwood don’t mix.” 

The two men sat in silence for a moment, each for their own reasons, when Ianto straightened in his chair, “But unless those ridiculous stories you tell about yourself are true, you and I will never have to worry about kids, huh?”

Jack cleared his throat and made his forced smile to look as natural as any other when he replied, “Yeah. I guess not. We won’t have to worry about anything.” 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Kudos and Comments are much appreciated.


End file.
